I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
