The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
