am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
