He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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