i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
