if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
