i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
