Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
