Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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