i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish you could order shots online.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
