the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
