# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
