i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My ass is underappreciated
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize