i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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