We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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