I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
