I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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