I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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