Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
