This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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