What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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