so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
