Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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