Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize