Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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