he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize