belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
