Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
