Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
