I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
