You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
