Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
