i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i think i just lost a toe
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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