Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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