Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
