if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize