I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
