she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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