he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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