We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
