you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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