I'm really into asian looking animals
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
