Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize