I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
