sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
