How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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