I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
