like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
