when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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