You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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