I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
