Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
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