I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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