Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
