I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
