my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
