We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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