it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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