I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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