I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This baby is an asshole
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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