Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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