Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
