don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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