I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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