New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
