I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They have beer where we have blood.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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