they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
