Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i drank out of a bidet.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
