just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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