Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
