Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Randomize
