): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
